How to make dinner

in thirty minutes or less, I swear !

After a long day of being an adult followed by a tedious one and a half hour bed-time routine as of late (I know, we are working on it), I am hard pressed to find the energy to cook anything for dinner these days (assuming we didn’t eat with our daughter). Once I have finally extracted myself and crawled my way out of her dark bedroom, I am bereft!

Squinting towards the bright kitchen lights I feel appalled at the idea that my body needs food again. You certainly don’t need kids to understand that feeling. Because being a human is freaking exhausting.

My many years as a professional chef and my experience as a mom have prepared me for just this type of thing. Let me help you squeeze that last sliver of energy from your exhausted flesh suit and get to the finish line with a fed belly.

Before you even start cooking consider the following tips and tricks! Become a paid subscriber for more content !!

• Preheat your oven. Just do that.

  When? Some time between their bath and bed routine? What temp? 400F? Doesn’t matter if you don’t know what you’re going to put in the oven yet! But seriously, having it preheated will give you options later.

• Before you collapse into a puddle, try putting your phone down and use that free hand to grab a larger than life hunk of cheese and some grapes. There is nothing this combination can’t fix. Don’t have grapes? Take bites from a whole apple! No cheese? Salami would be great in this two-fisted meal as well.

• Make yourself a cartoonishly large peanut butter lollipop, which is just peanut butter on a spoon, and take it to the couch. You clearly need a minute to get it together.

• If you find yourself standing in front of the refrigerator with the door propped open thinking about what to do for dinner that night, might I suggest reaching for anything within arms distance and snacking on it immediately instead? Olives, pickles, string cheese, a picked-over rotisserie carcass, as long as that fridge door is wide open while it’s happening you are doing it right.

• It’s possible you just need to work your jaw a little before committing to a whole meal. Have you tried gnawing on the corner of a loaf of sourdough? It’s best if it’s been sitting in a loosely rolled brown paper bag on your counter for a day or three.

• Here me out. A cold straight out of the fridge tortilla with ketchup and sprinkle parmesan cheese? Loosha tells me its basically pizza.

• When in doubt, chug something from a carton. Any carton!

Happy cooking! And Oh my god, turn the oven off!!